Become Happier
Tips and resources for getting more laughter into your life, increasing your happines and improving your well-being. Check out our blog too for the latest research and what it means for your happiness.
be happier
How could you not click on a link called “Be Happier”? Isn’t that what everyone wants? Even if you don't want to increase your happiness you probably want to maintain what happiness you already have. I’ve pursed happiness for a lifetime with various degrees of success but I can say that attending laughter clubs has been one of the better things I’ve tried (and I’ve tried a lot). It costs next to nothing and has definite, noticeable benefits. Of course happiness is multidimensional. This page gives some tips on all dimensions.
humour vs laughter
Humour and laughter are not the same thing - humour is the capacity for an individual to perceive, relate and experience a given situation in a more funny and humorous way. Laughter is one expression of your sense of humour (another expression might be smiling).
In fact there is some research that humour is even better for you than laughter. Humour involves seeing and interpreting a situation and then expressing it. The act of interpreting a situation as funny involves more of your brain (your entire cerebral cortex) than just laughter and this might have greater benefits.
The good thing is that they are interrelated and developing one helps develop the other. (In fact this is true of most skills. That's why so many geniuses excelled at many different activities).
Sense of humour: Faculty of perceiving facetiousness or comicality and enjoying what is ludicrous or amusing.
Laughter: Making the sounds and movements of face and body by which lively amusement, sense of the ludicrous and exultation are instinctively expressed.
developing a sense of humour by laughing
Everyone has a tremendous potential to laugh but this seems to reduce as we get older. Children laugh 300-400 times a day - not because they have a good senses of humour but because it is the nature of a child to be joyful. By the time we become adults we laugh just 15 times a day (not even that on a bad day).
Becoming wealthier is not the answer either. In the 1950's people used to laugh an average of 18 minutes a day but now it is just 6 minutes a day - despite the enormous rise in living standards. There's an epidemic of seriousness! Not every society is the same. Anyone who has been to Thailand can attest to the capacity for Thai adults continue to laugh and smile into old age, even living in relative poverty.
As we get older (and it appears, richer) our laughter gets lost among increasing piles of FUNGI (Fear, Unhappiness, Neuroticisms, Greed and worst of all Inhibition) as well as self-control, responsibility and insecurity. Now FUNGI usually live under DUNG (Disgust, Unhappiness, Neuroticism, Greed). We need to remove all the DUNG, extract ourselves from the FUNGI and get to the fun in order to laugh more.
That's why laughter clubs work so well - they help you overcome your inhibitions, relax, have some fun and become playful again. And like a muscle - the more you flex it the more you laugh. This in turn activates your sense of humour. As far as your body goes it can't tell the difference between whether you're laughing for real or pretending. The funny thing is (ooops a pun) after a while it all comes more naturally and you start finding you are laughing spontaneously more and more often.
why strive for happiness?
It's not as silly a question as it might seem - after all did Ghandi strive for his own happiness or for the liberation of his people? What about Mandela? What do you think were their priorities?
Whatever your personal choice one good reason to strive for happiness is the health benefits. There have been plenty of studies that shown that people with unhappy emotional states have poorer health than those with average emotional states. Now studies [NewScientist.com News Service 19/4/05] are showing that positive moods = positive health ie:
- lower cortisol levels
- for men (but not women) lower heart rates
- lower levels of blood protein fibrinogen
(Fibrinogen is a molocule which makes your blood sticky and is vital to clotting but too much can contribue to heart disease).
The reason may be that positive moods help you to respond appropriately to the environment. According to Professor Jane Wardle, University College, London, UK. happiness makes " ... the little hassles and irritations of everyday life loom less large, so you don't get such strong reactions to them".
further resources
Want to know more? Here are some further resources and links.
Pat Armistead, The Joyologist
www.humour-resources.com Pat is a speaker, artist, author and trainer and organisor of New Zealand's first "Humour in Business" awards. This small but inspiring site is about to undergo a revamp, but is still worth keeping an eye on.
The Humour Collection
www.thehumorcollection.org
As they say on their site - dedicated to providing humour resources to health care services, community groups and individuals. Includes some very good articles on the health benefits of humour.
The US Association for Applied and Therapeutic Humor (AATH)
www.aath.org
Good articles, tips and recommended reading.
The world laughter Yoga foundation
www.laughteryoga.org
Find out what it’s all about plus background and history and locations of clubs in your part of the world. The site of the founder of the world laughter movement – Madan Kataria.
The Laughter Company
www.thelaughingcompany.com
Jeremy is an ex-comic who has now turned his hand to helping people develop their sense of humour.
He and his son are regulars at our South Yarra Laughter club.
Art Gliner Center for Humor Studies
http://humorcenter.umd.edu/
As the site says "Supporting the study of the vital role of humor in social and cultural life through research and teaching". Great site.
How Laughter Works
http://www.howstuffworks.com/laughter6.htm
The ins and outs of how laughter works.
Want to be more optimistic?
Learned Optimism - Martin Seligman. This book describes some very practical ways to become someone who sees the glass as half-full rather than half-empty.
Baby Laughter
http://www.babyworld.co.uk/features/humour/babys_humour.asp
The ins and outs of baby laughter. When they start and why it's good for babies.
A page full of laughs ...
http://www.geocities.com/usuff_omar/HornsbyLaughterClubLaughsAug2005.htm
Brief descriptions of a whole bunch of different laughs to try.
21 ways to laugh more and be happier
If you have any suggestions please send them in. In the meantime here's some of mine ...
- Every day practice laughing. If it's a gray old day (internally or externally) do this first thing in the morning. You can do it on the way to work in the car, while riding your bike, in the shower. (I do it in my motor-bike helmut). As little as 30 seconds will make a difference but you can go up to 10 minutes.
- Every day practice smiling. In space no-one can hear you smile - but seriously, unlike laughing you don't have to worry about people hearing you. Try it on the way to a difficult meeting. I once smiled when I was on my way to meeting a very irate girlfriend - she was still irate but we didn't have the argument we would have had.
- Figure out your humour profile. What makes you laugh? Be honest about it (I laugh at the world's funniest videos ie other people's accidents - sad but true). Write a list and then build up a stock of funny books, videos and jokes etc.
- Hang out with people that laugh. It's infectious.
- List 10 things that you enjoy - when was the last time you did one of them. Set 3 hours aside this Sunday to do one of them.
- Ground yourself. Every hour stop whatever you're doing - look around and notice what is going on inside and outside and particularly what feels, smells, looks nice, pleasant, good, enjoyable or beautiful. What parts of your body are relaxed or at ease? Just notice them - comment on them so yourself. Feel your feet on the ground, and clothes on your body.
- Go for just enough. In our society we are encouraged to reach for the stars - how about just reaching for as much as you need? Give up maximising - reject celebrity leadership and glamour. It can be all very inspiring but do you need the stress? Why not keep those star goals for just one or two areas of you life that are important and relax about the others. Redefine success - you might not go as far but you'll probably be happier.
- Defeat Overwhelm. Stop multi-tasking, stay in the moment and say no.
- Stop obsessive thinking - it'll drive you nuts. If you're going around and around thinking about the same old thing (this happens a lot when we're angry or hurt) and you aren't getting anywhere try this:
- Remember a place you felt really happy or relaxed - spend a few minutes and really get into the feeling of it. Feel the sun, hear the sounds you heard there, notice what is light and easy and pleasant about the situation.
- Now get on with your day.
- The next time you start obsessing say STOP - preferably out loud (but in your head is ok - you don't want yo to get arrested). If you can, make some sort of stopping gesture like raising your hand.
- Immediately bring back that memory of the happy relaxed place for 30 seconds.
- Every time you start obsessing do it again - your mad head will get frustrated and quickly give up the game.
- Laugh at yourself. Notice what you do that's silly or childish and poke fun at yourself. Change perspective. Look at the situation from someone else's point of view - are you a bit of a goose? Imagine the situation as if you're 5 years in the future - will it really matter then? Is it worth all the angst?
- Look for the ludicrous in the world eg there's a sign that says:
"Dog for sale - Eats anything - Loves children". - Give up and cry. Sometimes it's the best thing - and you'll start laughing soon after.
- Share embarrassing or funny things with others.
- Practice Gratitude. This has been one of the most helpful things for me. Twice a week write a list of 10 things you are grateful for. Do this for 3 months or every time you start feeling down, cranky or ungrateful. Remember - if you know where your next meal is coming from your doing better than 90% of the world's population.
- At the end of the day recall and/or jot down one funny thing that happened that day.
- Muck around with serious things - put words in the wrong order, make up names of people and events.
- Do at least one silly non-conforming thing a day.
- Get a laughter leader into your workplace.
- Hey I don't know - ask yourself what works for you. I like wearing coloured socks and Leunig cartoons. Find out what works for you and DO IT.
- Learn to be optimistic. Optimists live longer and are more successful and happier. The only time you should be a pessimist is in a life-threatening situation. You want your airline pilot and surgeon to be a pessimist. Everyone else has no excuse.
- Write down your goals long term, medium and short-term. People who write down their goals are much more likely to achieve them.
but wait - there's more ...
Wellbeing has many dimensions - I've touched on laughter above, but there are all the other usual suspects: eat well, get enough exercise, build good social bonds, contemplate your own spirituality and nurture your creativity. Spend some time in the sunlight, talk about your problems and share your joys with your friends but don't ruminate. Worrying is a complete waste of time. Find a good therapist, sack your therapist and go it alone. Travel.
I won't go into them all here because there are plenty of other sites that can give you better advice than I. Do a search on the web and you'll find a million useful resources. And remember - you're only human - keep your sense of humour!